Hidden Scars
by mdelpin
Summary: Sometimes it's not the physical scars that are the hardest to overcome. This is my second entry for When We Take Different Paths (wwtdp), and @ftlgbtales tumblr event. This is for Day 8: Scars. Check out @ft-wwtdp to see more stories from FT LGBT authors.


Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

When We Take Different Paths Week 2 - MLM/Slash

Prompt: Day 1- Scars

Pairing: Silver x Gildarts

Note: This is loosely based on Silver and Gildarts in my To Kill A Dragon series and will be part of Dragon Drabbles.

Hidden Scars

"Out here again?" Gildarts Clive asked as he found the newest member of Fairy Tail, Silver Fullbuster, sitting on the grassy field behind the guild. He was illuminated by the moonlight, his pale skin almost glowing, brooding as only a Fullbuster seemed to be able to manage. He had a beer stein in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

When Gildarts had returned from his latest mission, he had been surprised by several things. The guild being destroyed yet again was not much of a surprise. However, it being disbanded had been. He was proud that both Laxus and Erza had stepped up to take over Master's duties, he'd watched them grow, and he felt they were well equipped to handle the challenges, hell they'd do better than he ever could have. The thing that had really surprised him was that they had managed to gain a new member, a former Demon Gate of Tartaros of all things.

Despite his initial reservations, the fact that this person was not only close enough to his age to become an actual friend but also Gray's father had quickly worn down his distrust. Had made him want to stick around longer than the usual amount of time it took until Cana got annoyed with him. They had quickly become drinking buddies, and Gildarts now spent more time at the Guild, much to Cana's chagrin.

He looked over at his new friend and tried not to ogle him. He had to admit Silver was an attractive man, one he found very interesting. Gildarts was well known for his playboy ways when it came to women, but he had kept his occasional attraction to men a secret. He could easily see that his friend was troubled and he wanted to help, so he put all inappropriate thoughts aside for the moment.

"Still too much?" Gildarts asked knowingly as he took a swig from his beer and sat down next to the Ice Devil Slayer, patting his shoulder roughly.

Silver Fullbuster nodded, looking at the only friend he had really made since joining the Fairy Tail Guild. He had tried to stay in the guildhall longer this time, but it was still too much. The people inside were nice enough, but they were rowdy, and after spending years as part of the Tartaros Guild he was used to solitude and quiet. Realistically wasn't that what your afterlife was supposed to be like? And by all effects, he should be dead, had been dead until the actions of a deranged necromancer had brought him back into this world.

"They say those things will kill you," Gildarts commented as he watched Silver puff at his cigarette and slowly exhale the foul smelling smoke.

"They're a little too late don't you think?" Silver retorted.

"Do you want to die?" Gildarts asked curiously.

"Yes... No... I'm fine, really." Silver assured the crash mage. Hoping that in doing so Gildarts would leave him alone to his thoughts.

"Sure you are," Gildarts smirked. "Your resemblance to Gray is uncanny."

"Yes, he looks much as I did when I was his age."

"That's not what I meant." Gildarts leveled his eyes at the Ice Devil Slayer. "You're both incapable of processing emotions. Is that an ice magic thing?"

"I wouldn't know, I didn't have magic before."

"Is that a fact?" Gildarts whistled. "Did your wife?"

Silver shrugged. "Not that I ever knew."

"Well, that's pretty unusual, especially considering how powerful Gray is. Regardless, brooding doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere. Would you like to talk about it? I've been told I have a decent ear." When Silver did not disagree Gildarts stood up and returned sometime later with a barrel and placed it in front of them. "I get the feeling we might need it."

"Didn't Cana complain about you grabbing it from her stash?" Silver looked at Gildarts with a half-smile.

"Of course, not. I'm Cana's father, she was more than happy to-" Gildarts stopped as Silver snorted at him. "Ok, fine. I waited until she went to the bathroom. She'll notice eventually."

Silver tried to hide the smile that was playing on his lips, but the thought of big bad crash mage Gildarts Clive being intimidated by his daughter amused him.

"So what's going on inside that head of yours?" Gildarts asked as he refilled their steins from the barrel.

"I want to stay here, for Gray's sake, but at the same time I don't feel that I deserve to." Silver tried to explain the thoughts that were never far from his mind.

"Sometimes it's not about what we deserve, Silver. It's about what's needed, and your boy needs you. He always has." Gildarts could have smacked himself when he saw Silver hide his eyes behind his bangs.

"It's still hard for me to believe he was alive all this time." Silver said, his voice pained and tight.

Silver had spent seventeen years enslaved by a dark guild and forced to commit atrocious crimes. His actions had scarred his psyche in ways not many could understand. He had devised a plan though, had acquired magic that would let him fight back. He'd been planning to take out Tartaros from the inside. He would destroy all the demons before they could cause any more damage, and he would do it all to avenge his wife and son. Then he would join them in the afterlife. That had been the plan, but things rarely ever went the way Silver Fullbuster wanted.

It had taken one impulse visit to the Grand Magic Games to change everything forever. He had learned with equal parts happiness and horror that his son had never died. Silver had spent all those years exacting vengeance for a death that had never happened, and in doing so, he'd lost any rights to his son.

"You know, I feel stupid saying this but it honestly never occurred to me that Gray could have survived Deliora's attack." He chuckled bitterly as he gulped down his stout and took a drag from his cigarette. "What kind of a father does that make me?"

"A repentant one?" Gildarts quipped, trying to lighten the mood but failing miserably. Ok, a serious talk then, he could do that too. "You had no way of knowing that he lived, you can't beat yourself up over that. I can actually relate to that more than you know."

"Even if you had known, you would have just put him in danger. You must know that! Besides, I don't get the feeling that Gray resents you for anything that happened."

"That just makes it worse, Gildarts." Silver bit his lip in a rather distracting manner, causing Gildarts to force himself to focus on the words. "He doesn't seem to bear me any ill will at all, and yet from everything I've heard, his life has been hell."

"I can't help but think that maybe if I had been there, things would have been better for him." Silver ran his fingers slowly through the blades of grass until eventually pulling them out.

"Silver, the Gray you're thinking of _did_ die. That Gray died the moment Deliora killed you and your wife. But it's a testament to the two of you that he survived. He made his way here, and he was strong enough to fight his demons. He's not the most friendly person in this guild, but he's strong, and if he cares about you there is no more loyal friend to be had."

"He's a good kid. They all are. I watched them all grow up in between missions. That's the real magic of Fairy Tail, you know. Makarov takes in broken souls, and he heals them. He's done it for all of us," Gildarts paused and looked at Silver earnestly, "Maybe we can do it for you too."

"What did you mean?" Silver asked the crash mage suddenly, having just registered his earlier words. "You said you can relate to my situation. I don't understand, Cana has been here all along."

"Cana _has_ been here all along. Unfortunately, I only found out she was mine a few months ago. There are worse things than not knowing your son is alive." Gildarts finished his drink and refilled it with more stout as he stared off into the distance. Silver stifled his surprise and drank as he waited patiently for the crash mage to continue, his cigarette long finished.

"Her mother and I were married, but it didn't work out. I've never loved another woman more, but she did not like me going off on missions. We fought all the time and eventually we decided it was best if I just never came back. She never told me we were expecting a child, probably thought it was for the best." Gildarts laughed bitterly. "Cana came to Fairy Tail looking for me after her mother died, but she never told me I was her father."

"She was a quiet kid, I know it's hard to believe now, but she was. I should have realized from the times she tried to talk to me in the beginning, but I was too busy being me to notice. The other kids started coming, and they all needed a lot of attention. For years Cana watched me be a father to Natsu, and she never said a word. When I think of how that must have felt..." Gildarts shook his head as if to clear it of the thought.

"I envy you in a way. When you look back, you have years worth of memories to cling to, but when I look back, all I see are missed opportunities." Some of Gildarts magic escaped out of him, destroying his stein as well as the barrel, the contents flooding the grass in front of them and he groaned in frustration.

"I'm sorry about that, my magic can be hard to contain sometimes." Gildarts apologized as the alcohol seeped into the thirsty ground.

"It's fine. We probably didn't need to drink anymore." Silver waved the incident away. "I didn't realize. I shouldn't have been going on about my problems."

"For the love of...You are as thick headed as Gray! I didn't tell you that to make you feel like what you were feeling wasn't important. I told you that so you could see that you weren't alone. We're both men of action Silver, we've both done things we regret, and we have the scars on our bodies to prove it. Physical pain is uncomfortable, but we heal eventually. The scars you can see, those are the easy ones. It's the ones hidden inside of us that can tear us apart if we let them."

"We have to accept that we can't change the past, it's already lost to us. The future, however, that's another story. And in the scheme of things we were lucky, our kids came out alright even without us. With their help, we'll figure out where we fit in their lives." Gildarts chuckled. "I gotta tell you, I never thought I'd be a single dad."

"I didn't either." Silver's eyes hardened, he was still determined to destroy E.N.D and anything to do with Zeref's demons.

"You need to let go of that hate Silver, or you'll lose him again." Gildarts advised as he recognized the look, "Our grandson will be born before you know it. We might have missed out on Gray and Cana's childhoods, but we'll be able to be a part of his. I for one am really looking forward to that, I mean who knows if Cana will even have kids, this might be it for me."

Silver willed himself to forget that his grandson might not hold him in any high esteem after what had happened in Tartaros*. He quickly changed the subject. "You know," Silver said playfully, "now that I know that you're Natsu's father it explains a lot about him."

Gildarts laughed good-naturedly, "Yeah, Natsu is definitely one of a kind. I was happy to do what I could for him, but I'm not responsible for all of it, the dragon had him first."

"Oh Gods, I met him. That explains even more." Silver feigned horror even as he laughed. "Joking aside, you both raised a great man, and he makes Gray happy."

"Speaking of which, how the fuck did that happen? No one's been able to give me a clear explanation yet."

"Telling that story most definitely requires more alcohol." Silver stood up and offered his hand to the crash mage. Gildarts took it and as he was pulled up into a hug that lasted longer than was necessary he heard a thank you whispered in his ear. When Silver let go, Gildarts looked over at him, his eyebrow raised, but the Ice Devil's expression was unreadable.

Gildarts was definitely intrigued, and he was never one to back down from a challenge. He grinned in anticipation as he followed Silver into the guild. Maybe if he played his cards right, Natsu wouldn't be the only one to end up with a Fullbuster in his bed.

A/N If you're interested in what Silver was referring to you can read Chapter 32 Love Makes You Stronger of To Kill A Dragon.


End file.
